Sean Patrick Flanery is a HomoQueerSicle
by PurpleRanger
Summary: Flandus. All the teasing during the commentary pisses Sean off, and Norman is in charge of making it better. M for sex.


**Disclaimer:** I don't know any of these men. *Sniff* I don't like to think about that fact.

**Warnings: **Angst, language, man on man, sex. Did you expect otherwise?

**A.N.: **Sorry I haven't written in a while. I've got a nice, long oneshot in the works, but I took a break from it because I got the inspiration for this. Anyway, I was watching to commentary on the second film (it is the funniest thing I have heard in a long time – watch it if you haven't already) and in it they (Sean, Norm, Troy, and Billy) make fun of each other a lot, including jokes calling Sean gay. I also reference this clip on YouTube (remove spaces to see it): http:/ www . youtube . com /watch?v=ccRLSuZV40o (it contains more on-set fucking around).

Also, I would like to send love to DrainBamage, who had better get back soon because I miss her. I was struggling with writing my first full sex scene, so I turned to her stuff for some inspiration and help. I can only hope it is half as good as hers. *DrainBamage!love*

But I'll shut up now. On to the fic.

**Sean Patrick Flanery is a Homo-Queer-Sicle**

They are turning of the recording equipment from doing the commentary when Sean turns to the others furiously. "What the fuck was that?" he roars. "ʻFlanery's a homo-queer-sicle?' Was that supposed to be funny? I'm not god damn laughing."

Norman turns in surprise to look at Sean's angry, red face. He hadn't really noticed the jokes, but he doesn't like it when his boyfriend is upset. He moves over to stand behind Sean and puts a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Calm down, baby. What's the problem?"

Sean sends an icy glare over his shoulder to Norman. "Weren't you fucking listening? Every ten minutes was 'Flanery's queer' or some other shit!" He knows he's probably overreacting, but nobody asked him how he felt about being called gay to the public.

"We do that all the time. Anyway, you made the jokes with us," Billy points out. He throws a confused look over Sean's shoulder, and is disappointed when he receives a shrug from Norman. Norman always knows what's upsetting Sean and how to deal with it. This is obviously pretty bad if Norm doesn't know. Well, that or Norm was too busy with his fucking iPhone to listen to whatever the hell upset Sean.

"I'm not going to make a big deal while we're recording, for fuck's sake. The point is, I don't tell the public I'm gay because I don't want them to know!" Sean yells. "And I've already got a god damn video on fucking YouTube of me and Norm making out! I covered it like it was a joke, but seriously. I can't afford this sort of shit."

"Sean, baby," Norman begins hesitantly. "Everyone is going to take that video as a joke. I'm not upset about it, so why are you?"

"Oh, you aren't upset? I'm just being an idiot then, am I? I'm sorry I'm not as calm as _you_ are, Mr. Perfect, but you have a fucking kid with a supermodel, for Christ's sake. You're safe from all that shit." Sean realizes that he's being a huge dick to Norman, but he can't help himself. He shrugs Norman's hand from his shoulder, spins, and storms out of the room.

"Um," Troy says, stunned. "What did we do?"

"Shit," Norman says, kicking at the ground. "I'm officially in the doghouse. And I'm not even sure what I did."

"I've never seen him get mad," Billy says conversationally. "I thought he just got out all his anger in karate and jujitsu and shit."

Norman's had fights with Sean before. He's seen Sean scream and cry and punch the wall. But he's never been this confused about the reason. Sean doesn't mind that they make gay jokes about him. Hell, Sean makes the jokes about himself half the time.

"Do you guys mind if I go try to sort this out?" he asks the other men. "I don't want to be sleeping on the floor tonight."

"Go ahead, Norm," Troy replies. "Billy and I'll put this shit away then leave. See you at the premiere." He begins to put the recording stuff away.

"Better him than me," Billy mutters under his breath, watching Norman speed-walk the way Sean left.

Norman walks outside and looks around. He has no idea where Sean went, but he knows he'll be in even more trouble than he is now if he doesn't find Sean and comfort him and apologize – for whatever he apparently did – tout fucking suite. He finally spots Sean at the corner of the building, kicking the ground with the toe of his boot.

"Hey, man," Norman says, forcing himself to be casually friendly while they're out where they can be seen. Given the nature of Sean's anger, doing anything that could even remotely be seen as evidence they are together is a no-no. "Can we go inside, you know, get out of the wind, and talk?" He holds his breath as he waits for Sean's reply. He really hopes he doesn't get blown off, because he has no idea what to do if that happens. And if he doesn't do anything Sean will get really mad and Christ this is worse than dating girls (though, granted, he and Helena never actually lived together*, like he and Sean kind of do). It feels like that teenage girl drama that Helena explained to him right before Mingus started fifth grade.

"Fine," Sean says petulantly. He has decided that he doesn't care if he's being mean to Norman because Norman should have been listening during the commentary and should understand why he's upset. "Let's go inside and _talk_." The last word comes out snidely, mockingly.

Norman takes a few deep breaths and wills himself not to punch his boyfriend. _He's upset. He feels cornered and unsafe in terms of being outed, and he is reacting because of stress. _He sets his jaw and practically drags Sean into the building.

"Okay," Norman says as calmly as he can. "Will you please just talk to me? I'm sorry, baby, but I honestly don't understand why you are so upset. As Billy said, we're always making jokes, and everyone is going to think it's all jokes."

"Easy for you to say." Sean's mumbling a bit in his anger. "You've been married. You got a sexy supermodel pregnant. Nobody's going to say that _you're_ gay. But Sean is a homo-queer-sicle." He stops talking before his voice gets shaky. Christ, he can feel tears starting to prick at his eyes, and that just makes him angrier. He hates crying in front of people, even when it's just Norman.

"Sean, nobody is going to say you're gay either. Seriously, of the two of us, I'm way more of the homo-queer-sicle type. You do martial arts and drive fast cars, I paint and do photography. If anybody suspects anything from that little video clip, it's going to be that Helena divorced me because I'm queer. Meanwhile, they are going to be commenting on how secure you are in your straightness that you let me fuck around like that." Norman tries a little smile, but Sean keeps glaring. This is not going well. "C'mon," he says, grabbing Sean's arm and trying not to sigh too obviously. "Let's go back to your place and get ready for the premiere. We'll talk more there."

Sean nods grudgingly and follows Norman to the car. Sean drives the whole way home silently, and Norman stops trying to make conversation after being stonewalled three times. Norman holds off until the front door closes behind them.

"Okay, I'm really not going to take any more of this shit," Norman says, starting to get angry. "I'm trying to find out what's wrong, I'm trying to make you feel better, but all you want to do is wallow in your fucking misery. Either tell me why this is so difficult for you or stop being a bitch." Right after he says that, Norman regrets it. Yep, he isn't going to be sleeping in the bed tonight.

"Being a bitch?" Sean roars, just as Norman feared. "I'm sorry that I'm not secure enough to be outed, Norman. I'm sorry I don't want to be a public spectacle. I guess I'm just being a total bitch to you. And you can't take anymore," he mocks. "You're trying so hard." Sean drops the mocking tone: "Well you can just get the fuck out of my life then, Reedus, since all you're trying isn't making anything better."

Norman is silent. He knows that Sean normally wouldn't actually want him to leave, even if he yelled it when they were fighting, but this isn't like any fight they've had before. This is a whole new territory for Norman, and it scares him. Sean wants him to leave, and Norman isn't sure if what Sean said was a break-up statement or not. And Sean _never_ calls him Reedus. It's always Norm, Normy, baby, or, at worst, Norman."You," Norman swallows around the lump in his throat. His cheeks are burning and he can feel tears in his eyes. He takes a deep breath before trying again. "You want me to go, baby? I'll do what you want, but… do you want me to leave forever?" A tear slips out of his eye, and it's as if a dam is released. Tears start pouring down his face. He probably looks like a fucking idiot but he doesn't care.

Sean is still glaring at Norman when he sees the first tear. Shit. He has gone too far. "No, baby," he says, reaching out a hand to gently wipe the tears that are falling freely. "Fuck, I'm so sorry. I would never want you to leave me. Yeah, I'm frustrated, but… Christ, I love you. I love you more than I thought I could ever love someone. I was being a total dick."

"Yeah," Norman sniffles. "You were."

Sean laughs a little bit. "I deserved that." He wraps his arms around Norman and pulls him close. "I'll say it again: I love you." He leans in and kisses Norman softly. "More than I can say."

Norman sniffles some more, the tears slowing to a stop as his lips meet Sean's. "I love you too." As Sean opens his mouth to reply, Norman cuts him off with a kiss. This one isn't a soft makeup kiss, it's passionate.

Sean is pleasantly surprised and more than a little aroused by Norman's dominant kiss. He pulls back, though, when the need for oxygen becomes paramount. "Even when I'm a dick?" he asks, smiling.

Norman rolls his hips suggestively. "Yeah, and I like your dick." He shuts his eyes for a second in mortification. He can't believe he just said something that ridiculous. On the other hand, Norman wants him some makeup sex. It had been the best lead-in he could come up with on the fly.

Sean would be laughing at Norman, but he's moaning a little from Norman's hips pushing against his own. He slides his hands down from their comforting waist-level embrace to grab Norman's ass. His mouth finds Norman's again, and he kisses him roughly as he starts to carefully back up, maneuvering them towards whatever furniture he can find.

Ah, the kitchen table. Not as good as, say, a bed, but Sean isn't willing to move any more to find something better. Besides, makeup sex against the table sounds pretty hot. He's still kissing Norman passionately, but he starts to let Norman take control, be the dominant one.

Norman is leaning Sean over the table when he realizes that Sean is letting him have the power. He smiles a little into the kiss; Sean is obviously trying to apologize. He must feel really bad, because, Christ, Norman hasn't topped in months. Sean is always the one who dominates, and though Norman likes it when Sean fucks him or makes love to him, he likes this too. Likes being in control, likes the feeling of Sean around him. He finds himself somehow even more aroused at the prospect of fucking Sean into the table, and becomes acutely aware of the over-abundance of clothing.

He breaks apart from Sean for a few seconds and tugs their shirts off. Then he's back on top of Sean, kissing him and running his hands over his chest. He scratches lightly at Sean's dusky nipples, delighting at the feeling of Sean writhing and moaning into their kiss.

Sean's hands run up and down Norman's back, trying to get as close to his lover as possible. He finally dips them down under Norman's jeans to his ass and pulls him to his hips as he thrusts up. Oh Christ, that feels good. He regretfully pulls his mouth from Norman's. "Any day now," he grinds out. Sean will bottom for Norman, but he won't submit. He's still the boss.

Norman resists rolling his eyes. Sean thinks he's still in charge, but Norman can change that. He reaches down between their bodies and pushes the palm of his hand against the bulge in Sean's jeans. "You want something?" he asks, smirking. He'll be damned if he doesn't get Sean to beg. Anyway, if Sean is trying to apologize, he needs to go all the way.

The hand isn't enough. Sean wants more, needs more. Looking at Norman's face, he realizes that he can't do his usual half-assed (heh heh) not-quite-submission bottoming. He supposes he could fight his way on to being on top, but that isn't the point here. He's making up for being a total asshole to Norm, and, honestly, making up is more important than his pride right now. Sean takes a deep breath before opening his mouth. "Please," he begins, and then the words start flowing and he can't stop them. "I need to feel you inside me, babe. I want you buried balls deep in my ass, fucking me like the world's ending tomorrow. I want you so deep inside me that I can't tell where I stop and you begin. Please," he repeats. "I'm begging you."

Fuck. It cannot get any better than that. Norman got the submission he wanted, and more. He leans down and kisses Sean hard, reveling in the control he so seldom has over his lover. His hands move efficiently, undoing Sean's belt and fly. He pulls the jeans and boxers down and off, smiling into the kiss as Sean lifts his hips to help get the clothing off. He pulls back and undoes his own pants, letting them and his boxers pool around his ankles. He feels a little trashy about it, but hell, they're going to fuck on the kitchen table. It's not like it's the classiest thing he's ever done.

Norman's about to reach down to Sean's opening when he realizes he has no lube. He isn't about to go to the bedroom to find some, so he looks around to see what's handy. His eyes light upon the bottle of olive oil in the middle of the table. Norman is nothing if not resourceful. He reaches his hand out, grabs the bottle, and pours some onto his fingers. He leans back in to nibble Sean's neck as he reaches down to Sean's puckered opening. He pushes one finger inside slowly, aware that Sean doesn't do this often and needs far more prep than he does himself.

Sean tenses a bit as Norman's finger goes deeper and deeper into his body. He knows it will feel good soon, but right now it just feels strange. He tries to relax as another finger enters and the pair scissor and stretch him. He looks down at Norman's erection and starts feeling a little apprehensive. Norman always likes Sean in him, but Sean isn't as big as Norman. He can barely remember the last time Norman was on top, but he's starting to worry that Norman isn't going to fit. Maybe he's tighter than he – _holy Jesus_. Sean has no idea what he was thinking about and he doesn't really care because Norman just found his prostate and he's pretty sure he's going to explode in pleasure. He moans loudly, then tries to put his feelings into words for his lover. "Oh God, Norman," he manages. "I want you so bad."

Norman smiles as Sean loses himself in pleasure. He keeps massaging Sean's prostate every now and then, and he's pretty sure Sean doesn't notice when he adds a third finger, and then a fourth. Norman needs Sean so badly right now. "Are you ready for me?" he asks, not sure he'll be able to hold back if Sean says no. Fortunately, Sean nods his head, moaning disappointedly when Norman removes his fingers. Norman slicks up his cock, making sure to use a lot of oil. He doesn't want to cause Sean any pain.

Norman slides slowly into Sean's tight, hot channel. Christ, he had forgotten how good this feels. It takes all his self-control not to slam into the willing body, but he knows Sean needs to adjust. He keeps going, inch by inch, until he is fully buried in Sean's body. "Baby," he grinds out, resting his forehead on Sean's, "you feel so fucking good. God. Tell me when I can move."

Sean looks into Norman's eyes, willing his body to relax. "Move a bit," he tells Norman. As he hoped, Norman's length hits his sweet spot even with tiny strokes. After a few of these, the pleasure outweighs the pain by far. "More, baby," he begs. "Harder."

Norman is only too happy to comply. He pulls back farther and drives in harder with each stroke. He's letting out a string of profanities and pleas to deities that don't make any sense, but he's too far gone to do anything more.

Sean is in heaven. Maybe he should submit to Norman more often. But Norman's deep, hard strokes aren't quite enough. "Shit, Norman," he gasps out, struggling to remain coherent. "So good, but need more. Touch me, please. I need to come." One of his hands fists in Norman's hair and drags him down for a sloppy kiss, the best he can do under the circumstances. The other hand scrabbles over Norman's back, trying to find purchase on the smooth, muscled surface.

Norman reaches his hand blindly between them and grabs Sean's cock, pumping it in time with his thrusts. "Fuck, baby, I'm close too," he gets out after pulling back from Sean's mouth for air. "Can you come for me?"

All the stimulation is too much for Sean. Norman's length dragging against his prostate, Norman's hand on his cock, Norman's voice rasping in his ear. He screams Norman's name and feels his tight balls release, and he's coming over Norman's hand and their stomachs.

Sean's face and the clenching of his channel as he comes are too much for Norman. He manages one more deep stroke before coming hard, letting out a strangled groan as he lets his much-needed release wash over him. He collapses on top of Sean, chest heaving, and buries his face in Sean's shoulder.

"Hey, Norman?" Sean's smile is apparent in his voice.

"Mm?" Norman responds tiredly.

"I'm not mad anymore."

"Mm."

"We need to get ready for the premiere."

Norman opens his eyes. "Fuck."

_~fin~_

*According to interviews with Helena, she and Norman, though married for five years, never actually lived together. See, more of my famous research.

**A.N.:** This took forever to write. Probably because it was my first full sex scene. I have a weird feeling of pride now that I've finished said scene though. Was it good? I would like some constructive criticism (so, yeah, don't be too mean, please).


End file.
